Sometimes, it can be difficult to stand in your own personal power. We, as a society, are concerned about appearing conceited and/or selfish. We hesitate to step on toes and worry about hurting other’s feelings. Yet, sometimes we must stand up and be strong for the universe to help.
Case in point – I have had a long, painful, mysterious illness this year. For the first 3 months, I was dealing with an over-worked primary care physician and an extremely difficult specialist. The specialist made me feel like I was really bothering him when I was explaining my symptoms. He interrupted me, he stopped me from speaking, he was a general pain in the behind to deal with. Of course, he had no idea what was wrong and sent me away several times with a “let’s see if it gets better on its own” diagnosis. When I called and told him my symptoms had returned, he said my blood work was back to normal so I shouldn’t be ill. At first, I was looking at this as an opportunity to stand up to him – and tell him how he was making me feel. I asked around and generally heard that he is an excellent doctor with a poor bedside manner. So, I thought, I can handle him – I do need a good doctor. The last straw involved me being very sick again and him chastising me for missing an appointment when I had asked his staff to re-schedule me if I needed to be seen again. It was extremely frustrating and I had enough.
It was as if God were holding my hand.
I found myself sitting in my primary care doctor’s office telling the nurse I refused to go back to him and I needed a different referral to a different doctor. They were hesitant, but obliged. I made an appointment – I was seen – I had more tests – and finally…a correct diagnosis. I was sent to a more specialized specialist…probably the best in the country for the procedure I needed….and within 2 weeks I was recovering from the first of 3 surgeries. I had my final follow-up visit yesterday where I was given a 99.9% chance of never having any trouble like this again. I feel great – I am healed!
I had to stand up and say no. I had to be worth it…and once I told the universe I was worth it…..I was put on the perfect path.
On the Bagua, Inner Knowing and Health are close together….like they are holding hands. It is so important for us to know ourselves, trust our guts, and stand in our power. While it isn’t always easy to balance our fears and our strengths, my experience has been that guidance is there when you reach for it. Yet you must raise your hand up, if you want God to hold it.
© Elise Rebman, 2008. All rights reserved.
Tags: health, Illness, Inner Strength
